Is this guy serious?! Brad Melekian, I don’t know who you are, but you seriously missed the mark for me with your Surfer Mag article on Alana Blanchard. First of all, tour extremely pretentious tone makes girls want to defend her, which is not something that women interested in surfing are usually willing to do. Your whining about Newport Beach in the first two paragraphs has NOTHING to do with your subject and who the fuck are you to judge anyway?
“The men’s restroom features ornately framed New Yorker cartoons, theraison d’etre for all of which seems to be that “the wife” can be a real pain in the ass, am I right you guys?”
No you’re not right and who even says that, let alone would publish it… online… in the same article that you brag about having a wife and two children… really? Then you go on to outline - yes outline, as in a full page outline for a school paper - the bland features of her life that EVERYBODY who has ever read one article about her knows like the back of their hand. I’m sorry, but I didn’t get much farther than that and there may be some redeeming quality to your article later down the length of the page, but judging by the compatible expressions alive and well in the comments section I’m going to have to guess that there really isn’t. This is the reason I don’t read Surfer magazine anymore, sadly I might add, but I don’t. It’s gotten dry and predictable and leaves far too obvious traces of Google exploration rather than real world exploration that readers are expecting from people who get paid to explore and tell a story about it.
So here I am, doing exactly what I’m condemning you for. Judging and being one of those annoying cyberspace complainees who people often read and think, “they need to get a life”. Well, nobody really reads what I write here, so I guess I’m safe. But that’s beside the point. It is inevitable in the life of a publication to struggle with producing original content. It’s easy to revert to cliche’d phrases or ideas that have been butchered. It’s not possible in publication to reinvent ideas, it’s just not, but that is what makes the life of a writer so much more enthralling. Yes, it is also extremely frustrating especially in the face of a deadline, but it is what sets the dry apart from the interesting and what brings back readers when ipads have been successful at stealing them away. It is the responsibility of a person who calls himself a writer to capture and it is the reason I love to write.
Melekian had a responsibility to capture me and a possibility to drive my subscription again. He failed and for that, I will rant and support my fellow ranters in the comments section because DUUUUUUUUDEEEE you just don’t get it.